Whine and Cheese...

Warning Warning! I have a need to whine...if you don't want to hear it or aren't up to it, run along! This blog entry is NOT for you.

I don't do this very often...try to look on the bright side of the picture and be grateful for that which I do have...

However, I have been under the weather for the past 4 days, here alone, and I am afraid it has gotten to me...I need to vent...

I have been in or stayed in too many abusive relationships in my lifetime. I have been "single" now for going on 3 years which is the longest time I have ever been alone and out of a relationship. I am living alone for the first time in my 52 1/2 years on this planet.

I am new to this area where I am living and havent met anyone as far as friends go, and have no idea how to go about that. On a fixed budget it isn't easy. but I have been surviving.

For the past few days, however, I have been sick, and the truth is... I don't do sick well under good circumstances but alone I really dont do it well....

My thinking shifts from how to why...and then I am in the pit...

I guess I am going to have to bite the bullet and call the doctor on Monday...that is about as appealing to me as eating a live frog....but I cant carry on like this for long...

I just don't understand why... but then I remember the old adage. " tis not mine to question why, tis but mine to do or die."

Ok, God, then please please take away this loneliness and make me contented to be with just You and me. I would surely welcome any suggestions from anyonw who has been in this situation and survived....

Thanks for listening...
an illin twistedsister